Hashing

A few days ago, the Captain's friend Gil saw his blog and asked him, "What does it mean when you say, 'I like to hash?'" Well, let the Captain tell you about hashing...

Hashing means participating in Hash House Harriers events, or hashes. There are about 2000 HHH groups around the world, and it dates back to 1938. It's simple, fun, and cheap. If you like to run, like to drink, and don't take yourself (or anyone else) too seriously, you should give it at try! If you google "Hash House Harriers + (your city)" you can almost certainly find a hash, if not several- Portland alone has 5 or more.

Now of course we all know the Captain loves to climb. But he can't climb all the time. And he doesn't want to spend every weekend in some stinky tent with Mr. Clean or some other mountain goat. Sometimes, the Captain needs to play a little. And that's why the Captain likes to hash.

The Hash House Harriers is a drinking club with a running problem. So there's always running, usually in unusual locations. Sometimes you run through a stream...


Sometimes you run through a stream, carrying your bike, even though there's a perfectly good bridge right there...

Sometimes you run to the top of Bald Hill, drink beer, and take pictures of your muddy feet...

...and then take pictures of the group...

Sometimes there's a super-soaker full of beer...

Sometimes you fall down, get your butt wet, and feel compelled to stick it out at the Captain...

Sometimes you feel compelled to stick your butt out at the Captain just for the hell of it...

But after all the running and butt-showing, there's religion. Religion is where you all get together, sing songs, tell stories...

...and accuse each other of "crimes on trail."

If you are accused of a crime on trail, people sing drinking songs and jeer you while you chug a beer. Sometimes out of a bedpan...

Sometimes after you drink the beer out of the bedpan, you feel compelled to wear the bedpan as a hat...

But after the running, the falling down, the butt showing, and religion, comes the partying...

Lots and lots of partying...

And girls...

Sometimes everyone wears red dresses...

And when the Captain says everyone, he means everyone!

Somtimes you cross-dress...

Sometimes you cross-dress and stand next to a guy wearing toilet lid...

Sometimes you cross-dress and chug from two bottles while sitting on the lap of a hot, lingerie-clad girl...

Sometimes you get to hang out with girls who are way too young and hot for you- like Scrubs...

And Trunk Monkee...

Sometimes you get to hang out with guys who are very cool even though they are better looking and more successful than you, like Ethan...

Sometimes you wonder, "Uh, is there a line?"

Sometimes you get really drunk...

...and start dancing...

Sometimes you get drunk and start dancing and take off your clothes...

Sometimes, you get so drunk that you need help dancing and taking off your clothes...

And that's all before ten on weeknights! Imagine hash camping trips, road trips, weekend getaways, etc.! But really, it's all just good clean fun. And all about the running. Really, I swear!

Well, If you're still reading this, and you haven't decided that the Captain is a slimeball, you may well be the kind of person who would love to hash. So go give it a try- Captain's orders!